Take Time Out

When was the last time you smelled the roses, for me it was this afternoon as I took a walk around my neighbourhood and really looked at where I was going. I could see nature the ducks and feel the breeze on my face. It was a magical moment, I was grateful to be at that moment frozen in time.

Being present to take time out is a very refreshing activity, keeps you clear and focused. It is not about feeling guilty (I should be doing this instead!) If you enjoy that moment and aware of your surroundings you can see yourself in a totally different perspective, you exist in that moment. Whereas if you are thinking about the past or the future you are not smelling the roses, seeing the details, your environment, as you are too busy in a different time frame.

Being conscious of being in the moment as magic in it, as that moment only happens once and you can recall it vividly as you think about it.

Memories are just fragments of time, we distort them, rearrange them to our emotional state. So taking time out is a good thing, makes you part of it, so enjoy your walk next time you venture out.

Pace YourSelf

This blog is dedicated to a very special client, she knows who she is. The message is to take things slow and to pace yourself, just like in a marathon, or a huge task, begin it. Then slowly size up the task just like a project manager would. This way you know what to tackle first and focus on that only, if your mind runs away with what is next and the next after that you will hit the overwhelm button pretty soon.

So take it slow, be PRESENT, smile and enjoy the task, even if it is mundane or boring, make it fun, if you do time will fly, if you see it as boring, monotonous mistakes can happen. And the last thing you want to do is re-work!

So Pacing yourself in those challenging moments builds, strength, resilience and patience, great traits to have under your tool kit.

If you can do this you can do anything! Success is yours to take, just be aware of each step at a time and soon you will see the light at the end of the tunnel.

So dear client, you are on the path of change, get excited and know that you have support right here.

Be the wonderful you, you are intelligent to figure it out, just let go and do not fight the change, be part of it and grow with it.

Super Powers!

As a child did you ever wish you had a magical power? a super power like your favorite superhero. I did. I wanted to be like the bionic woman, able to run so fast that I would be just a cloud of smoke.

During the school holidays I had wonderful daydreams about this and it occupied my waking hours, imagining myself going to different places and escaping, all the while not being missed by my family because I was back so soon. It was fun.

Well we all have some kind of power, this internal self-power as I like to call it, stems from each and one of us, we just need to find it, cultivate it, nurture it and practise it. Some people are wonderful with numbers, others are creative in the arts, take my sister for example, she is so gifted she would paint, and create something that really moves you and inspires you, all from a blank canvas. Now that is a Super Power!

My husband too, he wears glasses like Clarke Kent, he isn't a superman or a mind mannered reporter, he is a very gifted programmer and can design, create, implement visions only people can dream of, he makes them come alive! That is definitely a Super Power.

So if you have a gift, a talent, a passion, keep at it, grow with it and take it to the next phase, if it is just a hobby and you want to grow it, then what are you waiting for?

Santa Clause? Now he too has special powers...

My powers lie in connecting with people and making them feel GREAT, I endeavour to do this everytime I coach, this is my mission and I have chosen this as my purpose.

So have fun, imagine yourself REALLY making a difference, so start with yourself and the rest will follow.....

Just Shine

Many people, especially those in relationships find ways of minizing themselves so that the other person appears more significant and in control. Often times they do not realise that they are doing it, like putting their partners'needs before their own, their preferences, tastes with decorating the house, even cooking meals that their partner likes.

Women do this alot, I can relate to this in my own home, it was all about my dad, pleasing him and doing things for him, she was compromising all the time, and she disempowered herself in the process, little wonder she got stressed out and anxious. Only recently I have seen signs of this in my own marriage... (me a personal coach, quelle horreur!)

Well I can plainly see it, in one hand we want to please those we love. That is true. Nothing wrong here, in fact this could be an act of love (especially if acts of service is his love strategy, see our love quiz on the website for more details). It is good to make others feel good, and I know I accomplish this daily.

However on the other hand, if you give and give and don't replenish yourself in the process this balance is out of kilter. You may begin to resent it, doing things and feel like you just sacrifice your own happiness to make them happy. Or you don't feel like it is a two way street, he does not reciprocate!

Then you have some conflict, you need your love strategy fulfilled, and for you to SHINE despite wanting your partner to be in the limelight. You need to take that spot light time to time and bathe in it, be your own shining light, and feel your own energy, re-charge yourself and see what happens...


If you allow yourself to shine you are giving to yourself, and thus able to give more back into the world, your partner, your work, your social network.

I ensure I do this EVERYDAY, a little something just for me, what makes ME Happy, will ultimately make my husband happy,

So remember to claim that red carpet treatment and be your Shining Star

Keep the Momentum

If we have success at something, and reach a goal, most often we stop and enjoy the sweet taste of success and look back at the journey which we took to get us there. We have arrived! There is a happy ending. A sense of completion, a celebration! Well that is true we do need to acknowledge it and saviour the moment, after all we made it happen and we can create whatever we set our minds to!


Well if you want to keep that success and keep moving forward what we need to remember is that momentum needs to continue. Instead of seeing it as a finishing line see it as a continual marathon. We have arrived at a goal great. Bring out the champagne and celebrate, then look into the next goal and what comes with that.

For example, my client today did just that, she had the finishing date 26th June for 2 goals, one of which was accomplished, and celebrations are in preparation for tomorrow, the other still important, action was happening however she was still off the mark, so we moved the date so she can keep focusing on achieving it.

And in addition another goal was created to keep the momentum of already achieved milestones and keeping her on track. This was her habitual action of reading her goals and visualising them coming, is still intact, she just has new goals to pursue.


Momentum is a wonderful energy, it makes you feel like you are living on purpose and not just for a desired end, it has life and continuity. So next goal you reach, jump up and down by all means, you deserve to acknowledge it. This builds more success and makes you feel like you can do it again and again.

It is your recipe for Success!

6 Human Needs

As social creatures we have certain needs that need to be met, sociologists have found that we all need 4 basic needs, and some need 6. I was interested to learn this recently in my coaching course. And it was reiterated at Unleash the Power Within Seminar with Tony Robbins, it just comes back at us:

1 & 2) Certainty - Variety. We all need some certainty, could be a routine that we follow religiously, day in day out. the oppositing need is Variety, this is the unknown spontenaiety, the gray as I often say to my clients. We need both.

3 & 4)Significance - Love & Connection: We all need to feel like we have worth in some way or another, be it at work, in our relationship, society etc. We also need love and connection, family, spouse, being part of a unit. If we don't get one of these needs we become unhappy and out of balance..

some people evolve into having these 2 additional needs

5 & 6) Growth and Contribution. These are not opposing needs they are in alignment with learning and being part of a bigger picture. If we don't grow as individuals we regress and wither away. Contribution this could be doing charity work, pro bono work, donating money, whatever you can do to make this world a better place.

SO there you have it! if you need to discuss this in more detail I welcome your comments,

have a good night

Managing Expectations

Most things in life are about managing expectations. I recently had a chai latte with a new friend/business entrepreneur and we were discussing how in getting married, it is all about those expectations. Your family, your partner's family you and him/her. Emotions can run high as you are busy planning your "perfect day".

We know now that there is no perfection (read our story in the June newsletter by Sam Mutimer!) in fact as we keep seeking it we are in a constant state of evolution, thus we don't ever get to the destination. Interesting view point.

So planning a wedding, is about being as realistic as possible and making those decisions that fulfill your expectation (wherever you are doing it for someone else, or what you assume is expected of you!)

Relationships in general are about managing expectations, if you expect your partner to do or behave a certain way, then you need to communicate this, mind reading is not the preferred method. How on earth would they know how your mother treats your dad! and you like this type of treatment too. Or how you grew up being 'taken cared for' ? Again it is about those expectations that you feel should be met.

If you find yourself lost with respect to communicating these needs or having so much emotional build up you cannot see straight, then perhaps a Relationship coach can be a welcome support. Having someone to support you through this journey could save your relationship, or even bring more awareness of what makes you happy?

Oh if you would like to check out my friends website, Tania formed her own wedding website for engaged couples

Empowerment

I was at a meeting yesterday with some very inspiring individuals. Their issues are just like any other team:

1) Lack of control over decisions
2) Management not trusting them
3) Perceived lack of understanding of the teams'functionality and duties
4) Urgent projects at a standstill due to office politics

And they had more issues, but you get the idea, they felt frustrated and disempowered at work, and their mantra is all about empowerment, and ability.

You see they have a physical disability, all wheelchair bound and they are dynamite workers and caring and supporting each other and their clients. It was evident that they have the passion and the determination. That for me was the spark of the group, willing to do whatever it takes to get their voices heard.

Being empowered is not given by other people, you don't earn it, or ask for it. YOU SIMPLY act empowered and show the traits of having personal confidence. You trust your own decisions and get others to believe in your mission.

Yes start with your mission and become congruent with it, so empowerment is just the way you are.

So I am excited about this team, and for me to assist them, facilitating strategies of change and supporting them there.

Forces Of Nature

In North NSW, we have had the most horrific storms, some places have not had power since Friday night, today is Monday. The water damage is widespread, people have been evacuated, some have lost their lives in this amazing storm that has raged over the state.

It has been over 30 years since we have seen such a disaster. Makes your realise how small we really are against the forces of nature.

We are not storm-proof, weather resistent nor invincible, we are just sharing this earth with so many other living creatures and nature, and last week nature got MAD.

By constrast the sun is shining today, and people are still battling to survive day to day in their water logged homes, our hearts go to you neighbour.

It does not discriminate, nature just is, if you are in its path, watch out, others are just happy to be alive, with their families and grateful to be together.

Does it take a horrific event to make us realise this? We need to be grateful every day and make the most of our time here, whatever that is...

So take stock of what you have today, smile and hug your family/friends and reach out to them, life can be too short.

And live each day with purpose

Let it Be

Can you think of a time when you kept coming at it, forcing it to work and getting more frustrated at the process as it was just NOT going to happen! Yes we all have moments of madness, we want something SO BAD that it is like forcing a round peg in a square hole, no matter what we do it is the wrong strategy, we are blinded by our wanting, our pursuit of excellence, completion.

When we are in this feverish state we focus so much on the end result, 'IT MUST BE' as this will give us, this so we can go on and have that, etc. It is looking into the future and planning a few moves ahead of time based on THIS action/result. Imagine what kind of pressure we put on this single action, it is enormous and the stakes are high. We then tie this with some emotional blankets to really bound ourselves to it in a BIG way. The only outcome from such emotional investment is frustration if it doesn't go your way, tears, sadness, depression, pain in the chest..


So what do you do instead? Well from experience you need to LET IT BE, just release it and detach as much as you can, this doesn't mean you don't care, au contaire, it means that you do, as you surrender it to the universe, just do as much as you can, feel the feelings of the desired result and just let it go....

I know that is not the usual way of operating, however this detachment step allows you to keep your emotions intact, to be strong and focused and act as if you achieved what you really truly want. It is going to happen, it is a FACT.

When you let things go and be in the current state your energy is not used up in the final result (that is what causes headaches in the meantime). You have not invested more energy in the wanting and forcing it to happen.

Surrendering what you really want and knowing in your heart that IT IS possible will make you feel more hopeful and ready when it finally happens.

Get Committed

It is funny, well in truth it is more sad than funny, that some people want something to change in their lives but don't commit.

They get clear on the new path, they take some action especially in the first few weeks and they can see that their lives are better for it, then suddendly they hit an obstacle, and they come to a screeching halt! What is that? They are not committed to their path, they have some focus but it fizzles out.

So if you are wondering how to overcome this lack of energy, simpy think about WHY you want this change,asking why uncovers the motivator(s) for you, if you are doing this for other people it may motivate you for a while, however think about doing it for YOU how you and others will benefit from the outcome. If you REALLY want lasting change you need to stay FOCUSED and COMMITTED, giving UP is NOT an OPTION.

If you find obstacles (and you will as now you are on the path of change) GET EXCITED. This means you are getting closer and you need to face these challenges head on, go through the obstacle, don't let this become the excuse for you for not achieving your desired outcome.

Be DETERMINED, FOCUSED and read your GOAL every day, this gives you the passion and the motivation WHY you are doing it.


Committment comes naturally when you are driven to succeed!

Your Foundation

When we speak of foundation, I mean the core, the beginnings. If you have a solid foundation your house is more solid and stable, whereas if you have a shakey foundation your structure is prone to instability isn't it?

Our bodies are the same, if your core is not strong your back becomes weaker and less able to carry stresses of the day. You become prone to lower back issues and your spine reacts and becomes less mobile. Simple really. So work on building your core your foundation and you will benefit for better health and increased energy.

Coaching is also like this, if you have foundations i.e your goals and you read them everyday you make them part of your life, they are the foundation of your day. This is full proof, solid. If you dream and have wishful thinking then your foundation is not set, you have gaps in your foundation. So with aligning yourself with your core, know what is important for you, your values they are the substance of your foundation, they are like the incredients that make it strong, the concrete, the wooden beams, the solid structure.

Your beliefs are part of this too, they come after your values, they are the sand, the dirt of the foundation, they can change too depending on what you value, so see this as the flexibility in your foundation.

Yes coaching is like a house, it has layers and layers and it can be a simple strong structure or one of magestic proportions!

It all rests with what you WANT.